The D Word

I have talked to a ton of people who dread going to school because of something seemingly petty. No matter what, it’s something that applies to - though it may not bother - everyone. It’s something we all have to take into consideration when we’re shopping, applying for a job, when we’re choosing what to wear in the morning, and when it gets to the middle of the day and that cami stacked under two other layers really seems like something that should be shed purely for survival. Dress code. It is something that governs everyone, but some people skate around it effortlessly, while other people are getting slapped with violations left and right. Obviously, we all know a lot of it has to do with whether or not your teacher or dean or whoever is having a good or bad day. Sometimes they’re just looking for something to bust, and if your shorts are even .00001 inches too short, you’re done.

So many people try as hard as they can to barely get around the rules. I suspect there are a lot of reasons for that, but mostly because getting called out of class for a dress code violation provides the very attention that’s being sought with the clothes themselves. Maybe we should consider how challenging it is for teachers and bosses to keep everyone on track without having to worry about what someone is wearing.

Often, there is confusion between the concepts of affection and attention. So here is something to think about. What kind of attention do we want to be known for? Will this kind of attention help us reach our goals in life (Since what is publicly posted can't ever be taken down)? Could the attention you are seeking potentially be rooted in a need for real affection from your family and people that care about you?

We do things, say things, and yes - dress a certain way, to attain some sort of reaction from people. Often confusing that for affection - when really, all we’re getting is a short mention at the top of someone’s mind.

This school year, I want to encourage you to respect yourself enough to just keep with the rules. The rules won't go away. One day you will work for a company that will have you in a uniform or request certain professional standards of attire. Will it be another battle then too? If so, the need for attention may cost you your job.

Seek to express yourself - your individuality, your personality, and your creativity - with your clothes. But consider looking deeper into the "why" behind what you are choosing to wear to school. You might as well stand in the courtyard during lunch and yell “LOOK AT ME.”

The rules are rules for a reason. They're in place for the benefit of everyone - including you. Even though we didn't come up with them, for the time being, and most likely in future working situations, we have to follow them. Do it poised and gracefully. After all, the most attractive quality is dignity.

Respect yourselves, girls.

TOP BUTTONS IN SWEDEN

We would like to introduce you to a young woman who will be a regular contributor with Top Buttons.  She is already a fashion blogger with a beautiful spirit and a huge personality!  We look forward to working with her and learning all about what fashion and modesty look like in Scandinavia! Hey,

My name is Sandra. Born and raised in Finland having a Nigerian background now living in Sweden, I would describe myself as a globe trotter with an interest in cultures; very shortly- a free soul. Currently I’m studying Fashion Management at the Swedish School of Textiles in the South of Sweden. It was my great passion for fashion and appreciation towards aesthetics that brought me from a busy city life to a small yet warm-spirited town that I now live in.

Clothing is a very essential part of every day. It’s an outlet for expressing my mood and state of mind. Living pretty much my whole life in the cold Nordic region, where the temperature drops well below zero degrees with just a few hours of daylight during winter, it’s very easy to blend into the depressing darkness. Knowing me, I love to incorporate color into what I wear.

Perhaps my African background also plays to influence this aspect of my style. In doing this, I realize how it brightens my mood as well as other people around. I’ve had people walk up to me and remark about the radiance of joy in the colors I wear. It becomes evident that things like these that seem so little at first can greatly impact the people around us even though we don’t always realize it ourselves. This is something to bear in mind when making everyday fashion choices.

I personally believe that we should all be aware of what we want to communicate to others about ourselves and especially our state of mind and heart with how modestly we dress. This being said, I challenge you to think about what you communicate through your personal style of dressing.

Xoxo Sandra 

Finally it is truly a pleasure for me to be a part of  Top Buttons.  As a contributing team member I hope to both inspire and be inspired by the different styles and thoughts published within this platform. I can’t wait to share some exciting upcoming events from European fashion this spring.  It will be fun!

RACHEL'S FULL MAKEOVER,

Rachel is an aspiring nurse from St. Johnsbury, Vermont. Her average look can be summed up in two words: comfy, casual. However, with Rachel pursuing her nursing degree, she is wanting to update her look to a more professional one.

Before the makeover I sat down with Rachel to hear her fashion likes and dislikes, in order to create a look that would fit her unique style and personality. Rachel expressed having a difficult time finding modest apparel, that fit her figure well. Her solution was purchasing sizes that were too big. With this in mind, Rachel and I visited a couple different stores in pursuit of a brand that would work well with her specific body type. In her case it was Old Navy.

For Rachel’s outfit, I chose a collared shirt and blazer combination. I paired it with a dark wash jean, which is an excellent way to keep the outfit business casual without looking too stuffy.

For the hair, we chose a style that would be well suited for her “on the go” lifestyle. This simple bob can be styled with minimal product, tools, and time.

For the make-up, I kept it simple and natural. Rachel could easily pull this look off in just a few minutes. The foundation is light-weight, and looks great paired with a cream blush. For the eyes, I used a palette of greys and taupe. For the lips I chose a wine color, which keeps her look up to date and on trend.

A statement necklace adds personality to the look; bracelets and a jeweled toned ring compliment it well. This look highlights Rachel’s amazing figure without compromising her value for modesty. You do not have to drown in oversized clothing to be modest. Finding the right line of clothing, that works with your body type is key.

Rachel looks ah-mazing in her new modest, professional look. With a newly trained eye in choosing professional pieces that work well with her lifestyle, personality, and body-type, she is ready to confidently enter into the next season of her life.

Shirt: Old Navy, $29.94,  Jeans: Old Navy, $29.50,  

Necklace: Old Navy, $12.00, Rings: Old Navy, $8.00, Bracelets: Old Navy, $8.00 (Jewelry can NOT be purchased ONLINE at this time.)

Foundation: SKINN plasma foundation, $64.50,  Powder: Estee Lauder, Lucidity, $29.00,   Blush: Eve Pearl, Eyeshadow: The Estee Lauder Shadows that were used are discontinued. A palette similar is the Film Noir from Estee Lauder, $48.00,  Eyeliner: Urban Decay, 24-7 Glide On Pencil, $19.00,  Lips: SKINN, $54.98  Mascara: Eco Bella, Flower Color Natural Mascara in black, $17.95, 

Photography: Reagan Miura

Article by: Rebekah Miura

Haircut by: Erin Herren at John Josephson’s Salon

NO MAKEUP FOR A WEEK

I remember traveling to Quito, South America years ago with a ministry that I was involved with. On this particular trip I had made a pact with the girls on the team that I would NOT wear any makeup for the whole time. Being considered "high maintenance" is somewhat of a problem when traveling with those that are not. But I gladly agreed, accepting the challenge. Actually though, not being able to look in a mirror, fix our hair, or wear stylish feminine clothing was not really a problem for any of us. The focus was on meeting the needs of others. We journeyed deep into the Amazon rain forest. Our team traveled on a bus up steep single lane pathways until we hit a mudslide where all traffic was at a stand still. We continued on foot until we were able to jump in the back of a pick up truck, then camped with a YWAM base, and flew in a 6 seater prop plane into a small village in the middle of the jungle. As we landed on the dirt runway we witnessed the killing of a pig that would be served in our honor at a dinner later that evening.

Standing out in my mind were the children of this village. They had extreme cases of head lice which were clearly visible with their dark hair. Yet without toys, running water, or electricity, these children were all smiles the entire time. We didn't speak the same language, but we communicated through the missionaries that traveled with us. The way the people of this village worked together as a team, respecting each other and our group of outsiders, spoke volumes about their character.  They made more of an impact on my life than I could have ever made on theirs.

In America, we don’t live in extreme environments where we are FORCED to consider the needs of others. In our country, in many ways we are pushed to do the exact opposite.

WE CONSIDER OUR OWN WANTS AND NEEDS.

We want attention.

We will get attention from immodest behavior and dress.

Therefore, we must push the lines of immodest behavior to get the attention we desire.

Honestly, it appears many people, young and old, men and women, are completely aware of the affect they have on the opposite sex with how they dress. Yet this knowledge inspires more immodesty and not less.

How we looked as young women in this particular environment, more than others, was not important. These people were just interested in the love and message we had to share.  Even though most of us viewing this blog do not live in a third world country, is it nonsense to consider others when we get dressed in the morning? Should we feel a responsibility for the weakness of others? Do we want people to be considerate of our challenges and struggles in other areas? Does dressing modestly always keep someone from sexual thoughts? If you believe in the Bible as we do, what does it have to say about prioritizing the needs of others over our own? While many of us don't live in a third world country, what can we learn from people and culture who prioritize the group over individual wants?

Written by:  Sarah Powers

These are some of the actual photos taken on the mission trip described above.

MODUGLY

Fabric that is big, ugly, unflattering, and sweltering hot… Does this come to mind when you think of modesty? In 2013, we'd love to take this old term and give it a new definition. But where do we look to define Modesty? Who should define it? Should cultural standards impact our decision? Should we encourage young women to be set apart from society in how they dress when the options for such are so limited? Should we even have a blog promoting modesty, when “modesty" itself is based on the lack of self-promotion? There are many noble causes, should the way young men and women dress even matter in the grand scheme of things? The answers to these questions vary from person to person. But within the fabric of our society is a thread of faith. Faith should inspire growth, change, and healthy standards of behavior in many different areas. Modesty in conduct, which includes the way we dress, is a Christ honoring principle AND a healthy behavior choice.

How then do we determine what is and what isn’t modest?

There is more than one dictionary to define words and phrases. The Webster’s Dictionary was once the place to look; now ANY online site claiming to be a reliable source is used. The Urban Dictionary is quite crass at times, but I found their definition of the word “modesty” to be humorous and thought-provoking. It states, “Modesty is the art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.” This is a secular view which implies people who aim for humility are really actors striving to draw more personal attention. Why does secular society see a humble or modest expression, reflecting one’s desire to honor God and others rather than oneself, as pretentious? This social media, “like my post,” driven society is desperate for attention. We are so desperate that we buy what we can’t afford, pretend our life is what it isn’t on Facebook, and work to gain a following to feel like we “are somebody.”

Here's a valid thought…Wouldn’t young men and women wear styles that are more modest if their music and television role models dressed in more modest clothing? I believe they absolutely would. The need for ATTENTION we all have, gets a strong fix from shock value. SHOCK VALUE occurs as a response to loud and obnoxious opinions, “in-your-face” behavior, and “I’ll wear what I want” styles. This cycle of attention fulfilled through shock value promotes selfishness and more risky societal behavior.

What to do? We can’t redefine modesty in totality because it represents an ever changing principle influenced by the culture, faith and upbringing of its time. It isn’t a term anyone can give absolute guidelines on.

And the look of a modest woman has changed so much over the years. At Top Buttons, we debated whether or not to even use the term “modest” at all, because of the disgust most teens have when they turn the term over in their mouth. It appears that modesty makes most young people think of layering big ugly clothes and gives the feeling of "being controlled." We discussed whether we should use the word “classy,” but that infers “rich” by many people. We do like the phrase “fashion with extra fabric,” but this is a bit long to replace “modesty” with. We also know some other religious communities might be offended by our standard of the term which does not reflect their own. While we respect modest style expressions, at Top Buttons, we recognize that extreme modest styles could be impractical and not easily attainable for young women who do not sew their own clothes and want to dress in a way that doesn't alienate them from their peers.

In 2013, we resolve to talk about, encourage, and redefine this principle with all who are interested. We would love to have you weigh in on the matter. Is it possible to redefine modesty? Or should we throw it out and use a new term? Can we help young women to see this term in a different light? We’d like to know…what do you see when you think of modesty by today's standards? Do you feel it's reasonable to encourage young men and women to have some boundaries in their clothing styles? Why or why not?

Photo Credit: Elizabeth Garrard

Written By: Sarah Powers

Christmas Wishes and a Pretty Party

Our goal of providing a more modest option for fashion trends seems insignificant as we reflect on the devastation that many are dealing with now as the year comes to an end. The ugly truth is that we can patch up, cover up, and pretty up our face and our culture with programs and good deeds, yet not get to the root of the problem...(I'm not denying the VERY significant value of such.) But what we truly need is a love that is strong enough to work from the inside out. At Top Buttons we believe that the hope and restoration found in Christ Jesus is the only power strong enough to overcome the heartache of this world. We must help, love, show kindness, and serve each other as much as we are able to. For this shows the love of God to people in direct tangible ways. But we are not and never will be the Savior. There is only One that came to "seek and save," and only One with the power to do just that. (Luke 19:10). If we could save ourselves, God wouldn't have sent His son to this earth to die in our place for the redemption of mankind. This Christmas season, we are thankful that we don't have to earn our salvation, it's a free gift.  If accepted, it is more than life changing. We can all attest to that.

With that being said, we have much to be grateful for.  The past two months have been a whirlwind as we have worked to create content that is note worthy, Christ honoring, and helpful for young women. We just had to get together one more time before the girls left to spend the holidays with their families in their homelands. Here are some pictures from our TB team holiday soiree that we would like to share with you. This Christmas season, be inspired to dress with dignity and respect as you enjoy the company of family and friends.

We'd love to welcome a new photographer onto the team! She is a budding teen with a passion for snapping photos and it has been a pleasure working with Elizabeth .

Board Member, Katie Deloach (Middle), hosted our Christmas Party.  We appreciate her hospitality!

We will be on a blogging break for a week.  Next year you will see more Modest Solutions posts, Video Tutorials, and also some NEW ELEMENTS to the Blog that will be revealed in January!

Merry Christmas from the Top Buttons team.  May your holidays be filled with love and peace no matter what you face this holiday season.

Photos by: Elizabeth Garrard

A Leading Lady

Meet Casey. She is an Inspirational Writer, Pinterest Addict, Runner, Coffee Drinker and Lover of All Things Africa (Especially her missionary boyfriend who is currently serving in Guinea!).

In a world where beauty is defined by sex, skin and short inseams, the idea of having higher standards for ourselves seems useless and becomes depressing. Blending in is much easier, right? When we blend in, we avoid questions, dirty looks and awkward moments. As a girl who has chosen standards over skin, I can promise you that IT IS WORTH IT!

Have you heard the term “A Leading Lady?” A Leading Lady is defined as the actress that plays the leading female role in a movie. Charles Dickens described one of his characters as a leading lady, giving her attributes of distinction such as elegance, grace, and beauty. If your life was a script, how would you want it to play out? Would you be the Leading Lady, standing out among her peers, exuberating style, grace and classiness? Or would you play a much smaller part, blending in the background, labeled as “the girl in the restaurant” or “dancer #5” when the credits rolled at the end?

The truth is our life is a script - one where we choose the lines that it holds. The reputation you set now as the Leading Lady in your story will follow you long down the road. Every choice you make, right down to the clothes you wear and the activities you participate in contribute to your lifelong script. What kind of standard will you set for yourself?

Let me encourage you with a few tips on being classy:

1) Your character is your greatest accessory. Integrity, confidence, honesty, and self-worth are the most beautiful jewels a lady can wear.

2) Let compassion be your cloak. There is nothing more attractive than a lady who is covered in love.

3) Those who stand out are the ones most remembered. Find your own style and express it boldly.

Now go write your script!

Xo,

Casey

Photo Credit: http://www.thewaywewerephotography.com/

Strategy Shopping with a Kansas City Girl

My name is Rebekah Miura and I live in Kansas City, Mo. Fashion here can be summed up in one word: eclectic! Kansas City is truly a melting pot of cultures and it is clearly seen through its fashion. From the hipster urban district of Westport to the posh Burberry streets of the Country Club Plaza, there is a definite distinction in trend from town to town. If you are like me, and love to incorporate different styles into your wardrobe, then you would love Kansas City!

As a make-up artist/stylist I have a passion for beauty and fashion, but for me they are just an accessory. It is the heart that makes someone truly beautiful. Here in Kansas City, I am apart of a Christian community that celebrates fashion, inner beauty, and modesty. For me, modesty is an issue of the heart. I believe that what you wear is an extension of who you are. So when I am putting on an outfit I always ask myself “Does this line up with who I am and what I represent?”  This has helped me during some very indecisive dressing room situations, where I have been on the fence about whether to purchase an item. For instance, I recently tried on a little black dress that I looked fabulous in, but the longer I studied it, I noticed it was a little lower cut than I would have liked. It was not “super” low cut but I still had a heart check about it. Not to mention it was an amazing deal which made the decision even harder! But because I have a value system set in place for situations like these, I took a step back and asked myself, “Does this outfit line up with my personal values, and what I want to portray to others about who I am?…” It didn’t, so back on the rack it went. Decision made!

This simple strategy has helped me on so many occasions!  Finding modest apparel can be difficult at times because I am a little on the curvy side! When I go shopping, often times I have to try on several outfits to find something that fits right. It can be all the more frustrating at times when I go shopping with a friend who has a linear figure (less curvy), and a fun top looks totally modest on her and totally un-modest on me. I have learned in the process what styles look best on me. Not all the trends work for me and that’s ok, because the ones that do look good knock it out of the park! It is all about learning your body and showcasing it in the right way.

Developing your style takes time. See it as a journey of self- discovery and expression. Celebrate the things that make you unique. Just be you, because you are beautiful.

Happy clothes hunting!

Rebekah

Find Rebekah's adorable blazer for $28 at Forever 21 or click here

Promoting Fashion With Extra Fabric

Because Modesty is not just for winter time, church, and tradition... An idea exists among girlfriends that dressing modestly is “boring” or that it forces you to have to deny your identity.  At Top Buttons we believe a young woman can express a  personal unique style in a way that doesn't have to compromise values or deny personality.  The balance of expressing your style and setting boundaries is possible when you have the right resources to help you do so and the passion to make the extra effort.

We should keep in mind the TV shows we watch, music we listen to, celebrities we look to as role models, and fashion magazines we place in front of our eyes influence our concept of what is “normal” and acceptable.  We are reaching a point where the limitations on "acceptable" behavior are being challenged, and in many cases completely removed.  More specifically we see the boundaries being pushed shamelessly in the everyday clothing styles that stack shelves in our favorite shops.

This whole modesty project came out of a desire to simply encourage a more modest take on current fashion trends.  Researching the presence of modest fashion blogs, we found that there are actually some phenomenal blogs on modesty.  Many of which could be inspirational to teens, but few that specifically focus on teens with their styles and content.

So we are determined to fill this need and provide you with a modest fashion resource put together mostly by young ladies your own age.   We will work to filter out the unnecessary sexual material that is commonly connected with fashion magazines and showcase a Top Buttons version of current fashion trends.  But yet our content will include much of the fun ideas that other magazines hold.

On the website we will have posts that include:

• Current fashion trends with a more modest take.  We call this “Fashion with Extra Fabric.”
• Video tutorials on beauty and fashion
• Modesty Solutions
• Updates on our local Shopping Sprees for underprivileged teens
• Modesty on the Streets (MOTS) representatives sharing their perspective on fashion and modesty from their city or country

While we could criticize some of the popular young celebrities with their immodest styles and glamorized scandalous behavior, instead through Top Buttons, we would like to connect you with some incredible young women who have a different take on life and fashion.

Over the next few weeks you will get a glimpse into the lives of our team members.  Our team is made up of young women who are magazine interns, video editors, journalism majors, fashion bloggers, inspirational writers, etc…  Additionally, we are working with teens who will research, model, and be a part of our Modesty on the Streets (MOTS) Campaign.  We have been meeting and working on the content of the blog extensively for the past 2 months.  We aren’t looking to define modesty through establishing a rule.  We know there are so many factors which influence one’s definition of modesty, from one’s cultural background, to religious preferences and upbringing. We hope to start a conversation of what a more modest take on fashion could look like.

We know that our character is not defined by our outward appearance, but it does create a perception.  How we look does send a message.   Asking ourselves if the outfits we wear send a message which reflects the truth about who we really are, should be a daily practice.  We hope to encourage all young women to place a higher value on inner qualities than on outward appearance.  We look forward to connecting with you through Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Youtube, and our blog posts.  Talk to us!  We want to hear your ideas and see your modest outfits!  Join this “collective voice” ...a movement for modesty. Check out our Give Back and Get Involved pages to see how you too can be a part of the Top Buttons team!

You are not alone.  Together, we'll keep it classy!

Sarah and the Top Buttons Team

Photo Credit:  Beth Carter Photography