Why Kari Jobe Wins Best-Dressed for March

At Top Buttons, we are always looking to draw inspiration from women who are  smart, talented, and classy. Singer/songwriter Kari Jobe fits these descriptions perfectly. Her many roles include worship pastor at Gateway church in Texas, Dove award recipient, Grammy nominee, and recently, wife to hubby Cody Carnes. dbdd521869633d171032d2823062f90c

While Jobe is well-known for rocking neutrals, we absolutely love how she chose to add a bright pop of emerald green to her outfit. This is a great piece to draw inspiration from with St. Patrick's day just around the corner. Kari Jobe illustrates perfectly how green can be mixed with other pieces to tone down the vibrancy of the color and keep the outfit d0-able.

We love everything about this classy, cute and fun look. For this particular ensemble, Jobe chose to add classic oxford heels in a pretty mustard-color, sticking to her vintage-style roots in a subtle way. We love oxfords and their recent comeback over the past year. Choosing a pair with a heel like Kari did adds a little dressiness to her frock, leggings and casual scarf. She chooses to accessorize with bold nails and a stack of bracelets.

Kari Jobe is one lucky lady, but we adore her for being such a brilliantly talented Christian role model for girls of all ages. What's not to love?


 

Written by: Katy Abramowich {Image via Pinterest}

Another Glimpse into the One and Only Christian Fashion Week

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If you were in awe of our first glimpse of Christian Fashion Week, you'll definitely love these looks as well. Pay attention to any common themes throughout each line, because they're just a glimpse into what this Spring season has to offer. [divider_line]

designer 2 Designer Mikra uses fashion as a ministry tool. As pictured, her line is full of vibrant hues of blue and orange. We think these are great looks for Spring because the colors are so rich and the floral embellishments are just as in tune with the season.

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designer 3 The designer --  Dali Hernandez of House of Dali -- loves to put God first and fashion next. The first look is a perfect piece to have in your wardrobe because every lady needs a little black dress. Dali loves to play around with colors and textures, as seen in her blue maxi dress and bright pink tutu. While we don't think all of these outfits are practical for a day out and about, we do appreciate their playful nature.

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designer 4 "Elegant" was the first word that came to mind when we spotted this line by Jessica Rios from All Brides 2 Be. It was so hard to select our favorite four looks because each gown was equally beautiful in its own way. Designer Rios is so gifted in her eye for creating cuts that are flattering to all body types and figures. We love the fabrics she used as she incorporated chiffon, silk, tulle and more. In need of a dress for prom, graduation, or even a wedding? They have it all!

Our Top Buttons favorite definitely has to be the fourth gown pictured. This wedding dress is so intricately detailed with its beading and coordinating veil.

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designer 6 In an conversation after the show, we learned that designer Angel Myers is a school teacher by day and designer by night. We admire her hard work ethic, because as you can see her designs are flawless. Myers' collection is fun, colorful, and really appealing to the eye. Her designs include a lot of options for plus-size models, which is a quality hard to find in the fashion industry.

We appreciate the bright watercolor canvas of the first look. The A-line mold of the dress compliments any body type. Dress number two features cape-like patterned sleeves that are a bit unconventional, yet it somehow works against the sea-green maxi dress. Outfit number three had us all reminiscing back to the days when the Cheetah Girls was a thing. We love the one-shoulder look which was leveled out by a high-low quality on the opposite side. The leather leggings made it all complete. Finally, dress four speaks for itself with its simple shape.

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designer 7 If you haven't noticed a common trend between all of these fashion lines yet, look again. Each one features BRIGHT COLORS, which are super popular in the Spring. One thing that makes this designer -- Elaine by EJ -- stand out from the rest, is her high-waisted pants and skirts. The way EJ designs these outfits is so cutting edge and slimming. Also, check out how simple and sleek this line is with its clever color-blocking. Expect to see a lot more of these trends on the clothing racks this Spring!

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designer 8 Elegantees is a line that is so much more behind what meets the eye. They have a beautiful back story. Many of the women who sew these clothes have been rescued victims of sex-trafficking. Who knew that you could look cute, express your personality, all while knowing that such purpose is stitched into the seams of each article of clothing!

Co-founder of Christian Fashion Week -- Mayra Gomez -- fashions outfit number two! She looks like an Egyptian goddess with her gold headband and gold trimming on her blouse. The cold-shoulder sleeves expose her arms, and her vibrant green skirt is cinched into one side.

Outfit three is just perfect with its red-on-red composition. The tulle tutu isn't just for the runway! We actually saw her wearing this look as an audience member on a different day!

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All in all, we were well pleased with the show from start to finish and we hope that our documentations of the runway made you feel like you were part of the process too!

A Glimpse into the One and Only Christian Fashion Week

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We know what you're thinking. "Christian Fashion? What's that?" We asked ourselves the same thing, and the truth is, there's no such thing as Christian Fashion, but what does exist is fashion that is influenced by our Christian beliefs and fashion that reflects our morals. Christian Fashion Week provided a platform where designers and fashionistas alike could come together and celebrate their love for fashion while also staying true to those values.

If you're wondering why there was such a delay in our review: Good things come to those who wait, that's why this post is so fashionably late.

Enjoy!

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Designer Renee Scarborough's swimwear line was both modest and versatile! These are some of Top Button's favorite looks from her line, but they were all flawlessly made! During the show, the audience had the opportunity to interact with the models and designer to make sure the suits were just as practical to wear as they were stylish.

Scarborough has three main goals as she wants all of her designs to: Look Beautiful, Fit Perfectly, and Stand Out from the Status Quo.

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This designer -- Madame Weathersby -- had the whole audience in awe with her exquisite details and eye-catching accents. She incorporated lots of lace, sequins, feathers, and creative sleeves. Most of her designs are for more up-scale events, but are guaranteed to make a bold statement. Wear her line to accomplish a classy look. Need a dress for prom? Her line has lots to choose from!

[blockquote]My favorite dress of her line was the sequined gown! I almost didn't catch a picture of it because I was too in awe observing it with my bare eyes. - Alexis Gauthier[/blockquote]

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This line -- by Ronnisha Tolefree -- had a little bit of everything! From organized chaos to classy and collected, each look is so diverse in nature. The average person would have never thought to pair different polka-dot pieces together in one outfit, but Ronnisha accomplishes it so flawlessly and even adds an emerald pop of color.

The most unique outfit is the second. The designer layered a sweetheart neckline mixed fabric peplum top over a mid-sleeve polka dot top. This outfit catches people even more off guard with it's floral embellished pants.

The last two looks pictured are more normal. All in all, we are fans!

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Designer Sumita Bhojwani of KalaXpress loves fashion because it gives her a way to express personality, as her brand name suggests. Each of her looks are so rich in culture and color. As seen in these photos, she is skilled in embroidery, beading, and working with silky fabrics. The biggest inspiration behind this line was Indian tradition.

We love the lace dresses in hues of blue in the first three looks. Photo four shows off the vibrant harem pants that can be seen in variations through out other looks in the KalaXpress line. Wear any of these outfits to be bold.

FUN FACT: The word Kala means BEAUTIFUL in Hindi (a language spoken in India).

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This line was designed by Narrowgate -- a couple from the UK. They used a lot of plaids, ponchos, and tweeds. While this trend doesn't resonate with everyone, it does however provide warm and comfortable winter options. The pink tweed jacket in look 3 is a Top Button's favorite!

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We found this line to be the most casual and age-appropriate! The designer -- Medinah -- has also had experience designing for Gap! We loved the neutrals of this line. She paid close attention to detail with flattering cuts, touches of sparkle, and carefully layered looks. All of her designs are so complete and ready-to-wear! It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase dress for success.

[blockquote]Since 2004, I've designed for major retailers like Gap, JCP, Kellwood, Lucky Brands, and Sunrise Brands. - Medinah[/blockquote]

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The finally of the show was by 18 year old designer Julia Chew. She called her line Xaolin. Julia gets her design inspiration from nature and God's creation and creates masterpieces based off of that. It was such a great way to end the show! We love Julia's ambition and success at such a young age. Her talent really shines through.

Stay tuned for an exclusive follow-up that features detailed pictures of Julia Chew's line. (Coming soon on Top Buttons.)

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Comment below and let us know what your favorite designs are!

Fashion and a Funeral

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Summer left as fast as it came in. Nonetheless, it’s been such a blast with the most anticipated event of my summer being,  my trip to Nigeria. For those of you who don’t know much about me, I was born in Finland. However, my parents are originally from Nigeria, located in West Africa. To start with, my trip came unexpectedly. It was due to my grandmother’s sudden passing. The news was joyful yet painful when it came. Joyful for the fact that she had lived a long life, with the privilege of seeing many generations of descendants. But I will no longer be able to spend time with my last living grandparent as was my plan for the coming fall.

Growing up in Finland, I had been raised to adapt to Finnish culture and yet feeling odd -calling myself Finnish. Maybe some of you reading this post understand what I mean when I speak about this subject. I don’t feel Finnish nor do I look like the typical/average Finn. Nigeria is where I have my family and my roots, so you can only imagine how much I was looking forward to this trip to Nigeria after 11 long years.

But remember, the funeral was the reason I took this trip. This was only the second funeral I have attended in my whole life. Ironic how foreign the experience was, being at a funeral in the unknown land of heritage.  Truth be told, despite the mixed emotions I came into the event with, it turned out to be one of the most joyous ceremonies I’ve ever been to. For the first time, I experienced losing someone close to me, but I had joy knowing this beautiful women left a legacy that will not die.  We celebrated her life rather than death.

And This was done with such vibrant colors and patterns! Definitely something I wasn’t sure to expect considering the circumstances.  There were no black hats, dresses, and scarves typical to my concept of funerals.  We remembered and celebrated with bright colors and patterns that almost seem to permit any tears of sorrow.  It was almost as if she wouldn't allow us to be sad.  Looking back I know that she wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

The colors of my ancestry have given me a renewed sense of identity.  I love the joy of the people, the gratefulness they had for life, the pride they have in who they are and what they have to give to the world.  But most of all it spurred me to consider the question of my citizenship with a much deeper meaning than I had previously thought.

Am I Nigerian or Finnish, both, or neither?  The Bible states in Philippians 3:20, "For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ."

Today I have a mindset more on the essence of what’s to come after life here on earth and my true citizenship in Heaven.

It makes me glad to know that I have an eternity to spend there getting to know people like my grandmother who I really didn’t get to know here on earth. Imagine that!  Thank you for letting me share a piece of my summer with you.  I encourage you to be proud of all the aspects of your heritage, embrace each piece in some way, but recognize that our real home will be in the life to come.  Don't get too comfortable here.  It is but a vapor.  ;)

Sandra

 

A GOD CENTERED LOVE STORY

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cupcake In today’s culture, couples are expected to be physically intimate in dating relationships. Young women feel pressure to have a boyfriend for acceptance and value. She may even feel she must do “whatever it takes to keep the boy interested,” especially when she is comparing herself and it appears the competition is tough… Then we have the fashion magazine articles, among many things, that encourage more and more of this. How to have your “Best first time,” “How to Make Him Want More,” and “What to Wear to Get Him in Bed,” are all titles of reading material you can find when you open up the standard Fashion Magazine. (Actually, those are the non-explicit versions.) We say… Thanks. But No Thanks! This Valentine’s Day, with the increase in sexually explicit material, we’d like to offer an alternative.

Chase and Paige Wagner met in 2009, were married in 2012, and have been together for 3 and ½ years. They met while at Biola University in La Mirada, CA, (outside of LA). Currently, Chase is the Worship Leader at Southeastern University, and just this week they released their new album on iTunes called, No Other Name. His wife, Paige, is a student at SEU.

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First, we were able to catch them sharing a cupcake and cappuccino together. We felt a bit like intruders, but it wasn't long before they invited the whole crew to share their cupcake with them.  Which we gladly accepted!

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Then we walked through the downtown Lakeland area for the photoshoot.  Seriously, this couple looks like they walked right off the set of a movie.  The difference though, is that their love is real. It’s authentic. It’s not a photoshop creation or a fake love affair. We asked them to share their story with us because we knew many young men and women would be encouraged by their relationship and how their focus on God has led to a beautiful, healthy marriage. They are still in the honeymoon phase, but no doubt they will be together “until death do they part” if the principles they have built their relationship on thus far are kept.

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THE INTERVIEW

Paige, What did your life look like before you met Chase? I met Chase the first month of my freshmen year of college. Before I knew him I was a high school senior ready to graduate and start my college experience in Southern California.

Did you notice him before he noticed you? I don’t know who technically noticed whom first, BUT I definitely noticed him before he introduced himself to me. It was 2009.  At that time the “Zac Efron” hair was in style, and Chase rocked it so hard that he actually looked like Zac. Later when we were dating, random people would approach me and ask if I was the girl dating Zac Efron.

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So Chase, what was it about Paige that caught your attention first? Paige was breathtakingly beautiful and still is.

How did you ask her out? I gathered up the nerve to introduce myself after randomly running into her and her friends in a parking lot in town.

Did she respond the way you hoped she would? Yes even in that first conversation she was fun, flirty, and energetic. But at the same I could tell she had self-respect. Being naturally “fun” is a great quality for a girl to have.

Where did you take her on your first date? I asked her to go to church with me the next Sunday.

Paige, we want to know! What do you remember most about your first date? Our first date, Chase asked me to go to a night service with him at Rock Harbor Church in Costa Mesa, CA. I remember talking about missions the whole time. I had felt called by God to go to India, and Chase had been to India a few years past. Come to find out, Chase had worked with the author of the book, Revolution of World Missions, while he was in India ...which was the very book that had inspired me to go there.  I also remember at the end of the night Chase leaning in to grab my hand.  I guess I misread the signal, because I took it as a “handshake” not a loving hand graze. We laughed at the awkward misunderstanding and from then on we “hand shaked” almost every time we left a date.

What did your dating relationship look like? We were pretty inseparable from the minute we met.  We spent a good amount of time in group settings when we first started dating but made sure we also had alone time to get to know each other deeper. We went out to eat, went out for yogurt, sipped Boba tea and drank a lot of coffee (we’re quite the foodies). With no previous understanding of each other’s lives, we had a lot of getting to know each other. Conversations were spent telling stories from our lives, about our families, our understanding of God and our dreams of the future. We set clear boundaries physically, knowing that waiting for physical intimacy would honor our values, each other, and our future together.

What quality do you like most about Chase? I love that Chase’s heart is postured like Christ’s. Chase is always aware and thinking of other people before himself. He is so selfless in his giftings. Chase is always depositing the blessings God’s given to him into other people, seldom holding them for himself. He has such a kind spirit about him always making people feel welcomed and heard.

What role did your relationship with Christ play in your dating experience? Christ didn’t play a role in our relationship; He was the POINT of our relationship.  Devotions and attending church together were a regular part of our time, but in the beginning we guarded our own personal relationships with God. Of course we would share what God was speaking to us, but personal time with God is so intimate.  We wanted to make sure we didn’t share too much while dating just in case the relationship didn’t end in marriage.

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Chase, when did you know she was the "one?" After our first conversation. I knew we’d get married.

That’s pretty bold. How did you know she was the "one" that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? After discussing faith with her and watching that faith play out in the way she lived her life, I knew. She had a real authentic faith, not something that was forced through upbringing or the church or whatever. I loved watching her figure out how God's plan would play out into her personal reality. Her faith was honest and real. She had real questions and real struggles with God. But in the midst of all that I would describe her as “fun” and “light”- never taking herself too seriously.

All the girls want to know, how did you propose? I proposed to Paige at a summer camp she was working at in Northern California. She went to that summer camp every summer as a kid and accepted Christ there when she was 12 years old. The summer I proposed she was working at the same camp as a counselor. I drove down from Seattle her last night at camp and coordinated a candle light bonfire under the stars. It was there I asked Paige if she would accept me as her husband in the same place she accepted Jesus to be her Savior. She said yes.

Chase, we have lots of young female readers who hope to one day marry a man that will love and respect them unconditionally, What one piece of advice would you give our young female readers as to the importance of holding out for God's best?

Every person has baggage. Every person has made mistakes. Have GRACE for yourself and GRACE for others. Simply follow Jesus.

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Interview by: Aarika Phillips

Photo Credit: Beth Carter

P.S. 

Be encouraged!  Whether you are single or dating, it's worth it to hold out and keep the bar high.  Your Happily Ever After will come as you make God the Center.

Happy Valentine's Day from the Top Buttons Team!

XOXO

 

LAYERED WITH FLARE

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Drop the coats and winter wear! It is time to stop piling on the turtle necks and thermals, and begin layering garments that are fashionably lighter. Orange County is no stranger to a variety of unique and fresh styles, but here is a look that has class and flare...well a flare sleeve that is. Now the flare sleeve is usually associated with bell bottoms and a completely different era. So to modernize the full sleeve top and add a touch of youth, pair the top with a dark wash skinny and flats. Being that the season is in transition, a faux fur vest is the perfect choice. This particular faux fur adds texture to the outfit and the rich color of the vest pops against the patterned top. Add the finishing touch of a chunky long necklace and your look is anything but from the past.

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The links provided below offer some items that are actual and some that are similar to the ones seen above.

Skinny Jeans | Vest | Blouse | Purse | Necklace | Flats

Photos by: Jen Duarte

MODEST TIPS FROM THE TALL GIRL

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With longer legs come greater challenges to dress modestly, especially with the current trends.  The goal is not to set a standard by which all judgements on modesty should be made, but rather offer a perspective and some suggestions to consider when shopping with modesty in mind from one tall girl to another.  Miss Amelia with her breathtaking smile and gorgeous long blonde hair,  is 5 feet 9 inches tall. She is a full head taller than most of her peers.

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The issue of finding dresses and shorts that reach her mid thigh has been a challenge for her for many years.  If a person is petite or average in height, they might not realize just how difficult it is to find stores and styles that offer more conservative options for taller girls. Tall girls living in the southern states might have even more trouble.  With skimpy summer trends and squelching heat comes the battle of flesh versus staying true to values.

"It is possible, if you are willing to work at it," says the resident tall girl, Miss Amelia. She was all smiles as she shared her challenges and the tricks that she has learned to dress with dignity, despite the push of the culture to do the opposite.

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 When asked which stores she has the best luck finding clothes that fit her tall frame and body type, she said, "I get most of my shorts from J Crew, and occasionally Loft.  The 'teenager stores' don't make an alternative for taller girls like me. Their options generally consist of short and shorter. Both J Crew and Loft make it so easy to wear longer shorts, because they have all the same patterns but offer them in a 3, 5, or 8-inch length."  The petite young woman could more easily find shorts that reach mid thigh, while someone with Amelia's height might have to wear at least a 5 or 8 inch inseam to even get close to mid thigh.  Then there are the "bermudas."  Not everyone is fond of this knee length style.  They are, however, a super safe option. Some might argue that they don't look fantastic on their body type.  This thought process is likely encouraged by the current trends to wear shorts that barely cover one's bottom.  When all the fashion magazines show styles and celebrities wearing super short shorts, it seems natural that many would want to do the same.  But that doesn't mean that they should!

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Taller girls may also be limited in the current trends they can wear modestly.  Responding to this idea, Amelia said that a trend she wished she could pull off is the high waisted shorts.  "They look so cute on petite girls with a tucked in shirt and the right accessories.  But when I wear them it seems like all you see are my mile long legs!  Unfortunately that's one trend I've had to give up on."  She also admitted that she doesn't always wear the longer shorts, but that she tries her best to balance it out by wearing a looser fitted shirt that undeniably provides full coverage on top to balance the outfit out.

Here are some trends that Amelia likes to wear and she added some tips to make the trend more modest for the tall girl.

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The Tunic is adorable to wear to outdoor lunches and beachy events, but she recommends wearing thicker leggings, jeggings, or even comfy skinny jeans underneath.  Otherwise, if you bend over at all, everything will be exposed.

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The patterned shirt dress is classy.  And this particular dress does hit mid thigh on Amelia, but she still feels more comfortable in it (especially in this time of year) with a pair of tights and tall boots.  It must be added that with this young lady, an outfit isn't complete without the right accessories!

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With the longer length of this dress hitting just above her knee, she  feels comfortable wearing the wedges to make it dressier.  Often times a shorter dress paired with high heeled shoes make the dress appear even shorter.  This is something for the tall girl to keep in mind when trying to dress more modestly.

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 So what can keep a tall girl motivated when the modest fashion odds are stacked up against her?  Good role models? A scripture verse?  Accountability?  Any and all of these ideas would be valid and helpful.  Amelia comes from a large family.  She has 5 brothers, and 17 cousins.  There are many little eyes looking up to her which keeps her in check.  "Since my family is pretty close I have my brothers that constantly monitor my outfits. They make their opinions pretty vocal and will let me know if they think I’m wearing something too short, even when I don't ask for their opinion." In addition to sharing about her young family members, She said that her Mother has been a great example and has encouraged her along the way. "My mom is an influence that helps me keep my standards high. Since she is also tall and has shown me great alternatives while being fashionable. I also stay motivated knowing that I don’t dress to impress people on earth, but want to be a representation of Christ through the way I look and act," she said.

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It is safe to conclude that it does take more effort to find decent clothing for the taller young lady, but like Amelia says, "don’t give in to what everyone else says is 'normal.'  "I know first hand that being tall and modest is a hard combination, but it builds character and makes your outfits worth the extra effort. I have one last tip when buying shorts or dresses that are a little shorter," She continued. "Try buying a size up from what you would normally wear. There is no need to feel self conscious about the size of your clothing. When you wear bigger clothes it not only makes you look slimmer, but also draws the attention away from your legs. This adds a little length and width, instead of your clothes seeming tight and short."

Thank you, Amelia!

More Tips from the Tall Girl can be expected pre-Summer!

***We have thoroughly enjoyed working with Beth Carter!  She has donated her professional photography services to support our cause for many photo shoots.  We are thankful for her, and look forward to working with her more in the future!***

NO MAKEUP FOR A WEEK

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I remember traveling to Quito, South America years ago with a ministry that I was involved with. On this particular trip I had made a pact with the girls on the team that I would NOT wear any makeup for the whole time. Being considered "high maintenance" is somewhat of a problem when traveling with those that are not. But I gladly agreed, accepting the challenge. Actually though, not being able to look in a mirror, fix our hair, or wear stylish feminine clothing was not really a problem for any of us. The focus was on meeting the needs of others. We journeyed deep into the Amazon rain forest. Our team traveled on a bus up steep single lane pathways until we hit a mudslide where all traffic was at a stand still. We continued on foot until we were able to jump in the back of a pick up truck, then camped with a YWAM base, and flew in a 6 seater prop plane into a small village in the middle of the jungle. As we landed on the dirt runway we witnessed the killing of a pig that would be served in our honor at a dinner later that evening.

Standing out in my mind were the children of this village. They had extreme cases of head lice which were clearly visible with their dark hair. Yet without toys, running water, or electricity, these children were all smiles the entire time. We didn't speak the same language, but we communicated through the missionaries that traveled with us. The way the people of this village worked together as a team, respecting each other and our group of outsiders, spoke volumes about their character.  They made more of an impact on my life than I could have ever made on theirs.

In America, we don’t live in extreme environments where we are FORCED to consider the needs of others. In our country, in many ways we are pushed to do the exact opposite.

WE CONSIDER OUR OWN WANTS AND NEEDS.

We want attention.

We will get attention from immodest behavior and dress.

Therefore, we must push the lines of immodest behavior to get the attention we desire.

Honestly, it appears many people, young and old, men and women, are completely aware of the affect they have on the opposite sex with how they dress. Yet this knowledge inspires more immodesty and not less.

How we looked as young women in this particular environment, more than others, was not important. These people were just interested in the love and message we had to share.  Even though most of us viewing this blog do not live in a third world country, is it nonsense to consider others when we get dressed in the morning? Should we feel a responsibility for the weakness of others? Do we want people to be considerate of our challenges and struggles in other areas? Does dressing modestly always keep someone from sexual thoughts? If you believe in the Bible as we do, what does it have to say about prioritizing the needs of others over our own? While many of us don't live in a third world country, what can we learn from people and culture who prioritize the group over individual wants?

Written by:  Sarah Powers

These are some of the actual photos taken on the mission trip described above.

MODUGLY

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Fabric that is big, ugly, unflattering, and sweltering hot… Does this come to mind when you think of modesty? In 2013, we'd love to take this old term and give it a new definition. But where do we look to define Modesty? Who should define it? Should cultural standards impact our decision? Should we encourage young women to be set apart from society in how they dress when the options for such are so limited? Should we even have a blog promoting modesty, when “modesty" itself is based on the lack of self-promotion? There are many noble causes, should the way young men and women dress even matter in the grand scheme of things? The answers to these questions vary from person to person. But within the fabric of our society is a thread of faith. Faith should inspire growth, change, and healthy standards of behavior in many different areas. Modesty in conduct, which includes the way we dress, is a Christ honoring principle AND a healthy behavior choice.

How then do we determine what is and what isn’t modest?

There is more than one dictionary to define words and phrases. The Webster’s Dictionary was once the place to look; now ANY online site claiming to be a reliable source is used. The Urban Dictionary is quite crass at times, but I found their definition of the word “modesty” to be humorous and thought-provoking. It states, “Modesty is the art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.” This is a secular view which implies people who aim for humility are really actors striving to draw more personal attention. Why does secular society see a humble or modest expression, reflecting one’s desire to honor God and others rather than oneself, as pretentious? This social media, “like my post,” driven society is desperate for attention. We are so desperate that we buy what we can’t afford, pretend our life is what it isn’t on Facebook, and work to gain a following to feel like we “are somebody.”

Here's a valid thought…Wouldn’t young men and women wear styles that are more modest if their music and television role models dressed in more modest clothing? I believe they absolutely would. The need for ATTENTION we all have, gets a strong fix from shock value. SHOCK VALUE occurs as a response to loud and obnoxious opinions, “in-your-face” behavior, and “I’ll wear what I want” styles. This cycle of attention fulfilled through shock value promotes selfishness and more risky societal behavior.

What to do? We can’t redefine modesty in totality because it represents an ever changing principle influenced by the culture, faith and upbringing of its time. It isn’t a term anyone can give absolute guidelines on.

And the look of a modest woman has changed so much over the years. At Top Buttons, we debated whether or not to even use the term “modest” at all, because of the disgust most teens have when they turn the term over in their mouth. It appears that modesty makes most young people think of layering big ugly clothes and gives the feeling of "being controlled." We discussed whether we should use the word “classy,” but that infers “rich” by many people. We do like the phrase “fashion with extra fabric,” but this is a bit long to replace “modesty” with. We also know some other religious communities might be offended by our standard of the term which does not reflect their own. While we respect modest style expressions, at Top Buttons, we recognize that extreme modest styles could be impractical and not easily attainable for young women who do not sew their own clothes and want to dress in a way that doesn't alienate them from their peers.

In 2013, we resolve to talk about, encourage, and redefine this principle with all who are interested. We would love to have you weigh in on the matter. Is it possible to redefine modesty? Or should we throw it out and use a new term? Can we help young women to see this term in a different light? We’d like to know…what do you see when you think of modesty by today's standards? Do you feel it's reasonable to encourage young men and women to have some boundaries in their clothing styles? Why or why not?

Photo Credit: Elizabeth Garrard

Written By: Sarah Powers